Stacy Marr

I climbed the grand, spiral staircase with my heart thumping, hands shaking, and beads of sweat dotting my forehead. Being here felt a little surreal, like I was in a strange and dramatic film. Upon arriving at the hotel, I was surrounded by hundreds of people scurrying about in anticipation. 

Over two years ago, I left a job (with no real advancement) to pursue my dream career as a writer. My life hasn’t been the same since—in a very good way. But the writer’s life is a solitary one, and though I do enjoy my alone time, something has recently been nudging me—a desire to meet other writers and to experience a fresh perspective on writing.

When I saw the Southern California Writers’ Conference website, I jumped at the chance to attend, registering without a second thought. A few weeks later, I packed my bags and headed to San Diego.

Now, I stood frozen at the top of the spiral staircase.

Am I in over my head? I’ve never attended a writers’ conference before. Two women glided into the ballroom, laptops tucked under their arms, as the orientation was about to begin. 

Was I too impulsive in coming here? I inhaled a deep breath and straightened my name tag on my sweater.

There’s only one way to find out. I made a beeline for the ballroom doors. 

Inside, people buzzed, chatting and grinning as they waited for the chairperson to take the stage. I surveyed the room and found an empty seat at one of the tables toward the back, where a couple was writing on notepads. I grabbed my own notebook and wrote at the top, Writers’ Conference, Day 1. 

Soon after, a perky, dark-haired brunette sat in the chair next to me. I grinned and introduced myself.

“I’m Hailey. What are you writing?” she responded.

We chatted about what we were working on, each of us fascinated by the other’s stories about our manuscripts. Soon, we were trading information to stay in touch.

Before arriving at the conference, I had set the intention to remain open, stay curious, and deepen my understanding of the art and business of writing. After three full days (12 hours of workshops, speakers, and showcasing one’s work), I met brilliant people, learned new skills, and improved my writing and overall well-being.

What I discovered is that when I pushed beyond my comfort zone, I grew in many ways, which led to a rewarding experience at the conference and invigorated me and my work as a writer. 

Let’s look at just a few ways leaping into the unknown has benefited me and could possibly benefit you, too.

Days Filled with Creativity 

Most of my days as a writer are filled with sitting quietly at my computer, tapping away at the keyboard, cloistered away from the outside world. For now, I share my manuscript with my editor. The chance to read excerpts from my manuscript at the conference was both exciting and nerve-wracking.

While some of the workshops were purely informational, others were more immersive; one in particular took me by surprise. It was a memoir workshop, and the instructor asked the group of 10 women to share a synopsis of their manuscript or a personal story they had written. 

Authentic Sharing and Connection

The instructor called on me first to share. I coughed, and my throat went dry. I didn’t expect this. My manuscript tells the story of a trip to Africa that changed the trajectory of my life in the most joyful and fulfilling way, but it also recounts a childhood tragedy, something I had only shared with a few people. It gave me pause to share my synopsis because, when I was younger, having open, honest, and compassionate discussions about suicide wasn’t done. Clearing my throat, I launched into my synopsis, and my voice filled the room.

Then, something amazing happened. The people around the room nodded their heads; some teared up. When I finished, one woman said, “Wow, I can’t wait to read your book!”

Others shared their stories; one woman was married to a man for twenty years and didn’t know he was a notorious drug dealer until law enforcement surrounded their home. Another woman spoke about the years of abuse that went on in her family and how her book was helping break that cycle. Another shared the journey of her father’s Alzheimer’s diagnosis and how the father she knew and loved began slipping away from her.

The room hummed with buoyant conversations about our stories, character development, and ways to stay motivated as we continued working on our manuscripts. A workshop filled with strangers soon became a group of new friends.

In that moment, I understood on a core level the universality of us all experiencing doubt; it’s part of human nature. The turning point within oneself is acknowledging the fear or doubt—not letting it paralyze you—but moving through it and discovering the courage and fortitude to continue.

Writers (and artists in general) who share their most creative, intimate moments with the world are fearless. They are the mirrors, observers, and voices: recorders of history, challengers of the status quo, inspirers of greater understanding and awareness, and catalysts for change.

Being vulnerable and surrounding myself with like-minded people sparked my passion—the creative force within my writing and the bravery to share it with others. It brought me out of my “tortoise shell,” and through our sharing, the women in our workshop bonded, encouraging each other on our creative paths. 

Learning and Growth

The conference offered several seminar formats, including workshops on the craft of writing, sessions on the business of publishing, and sessions on the tools an author needs. In a workshop, the instructor shared tips for crafting a stronger author bio. She had us write our bios and then pair us with a fellow writer to share and receive feedback.

Some writers shared unique personal details, such as their Myers-Briggs personality type (I’m an INFJ-Advocate), their pets, or a hobby they adored. These seminars piqued my curiosity and deepened my connection with people eager to learn more about me and my writing. Through this workshop and others I attended, I gained loads of knowledge while enjoying the learning process.

Awakening the Adventurer

Traveling is another passion of mine. Discovering new lands, meeting new people, and learning about different cultures have always been a part of my life. I had only visited San Diego a few times before, so I took the opportunity to explore the city and its surrounding areas after the conference. 

There were the bridges I crossed (there’s a walking tour called the Seven Bridges of San Diego; I saw two while I was there), the cliffs I walked along, and some yummy vegan restaurants I visited. While traveling around the city, I met more thoughtful people who shared their favorite areas or hidden gems, whether restaurants or unique stores off the beaten path.

A Hidden Sanctuary

During my time in San Diego, I stayed in a serene, residential neighborhood in an apartment surrounded by greenery. This gorgeous garden apartment felt like I was residing in some faraway tropical paradise. 

Each night, after a full day at the conference, I returned to my “home” and looked up at the indigo sky, marveling at the brilliance of the stars. Another night, I heard an owl hooting in a nearby tree. And still another night, I caught sight of a silver fox trotting across the neighbor’s yard and disappearing into the woods.

The peace and quiet of this place, juxtaposed with exploring the area and meeting new people, brought out my love for travel and a newfound zest for life. When I stepped into the unknown and let myself explore and have fun, it enriched me and my creativity as I discovered more breathtaking places to visit, met gracious people, and even their four-legged friends.

Stretching ourselves beyond our comfort zone is never easy, but it is essential for our personal growth and can instill change for the better. While I know I’m quite cozy staying within my shell, attending this conference reminded me how vital it is to challenge myself so that I may continue to expand and grow as a human and as a writer.

The fear that filled me on that first day quickly dissipated when I summoned the courage to share a part of myself, discuss my writing, and take the initiative to meet people, leading to new friendships. All because I listened to that nudge, took a chance, and made the leap. And, my goodness, it was well worth it.