Stacy Marr

The river of blessings flows abundantly through the valley of gratitude. –African Proverb

In the United States, some choose to celebrate Thanksgiving in late November to give thanks and reflect on our blessings. Though this holiday has a dark history that we should be aware of, we can also use it to give thanks and reflect on the good things in our lives.

Around this holiday, we often hear the word gratitude—so much so that the word may seem overused or even trite. But cultivating and expressing gratitude benefits our health and our well-being year-round.

So, what is gratitude, and how can we reap the benefits of a gratitude practice?

The Meaning and Benefits of Gratitude

The word gratitude comes from the Latin word “gratus” or “grata,” meaning thankful, grateful, welcome, and beloved. When we express gratitude, we often feel happier. We tend to engage with others regularly and feel more optimistic.

Gratitude brings physical, emotional, and mental health benefits through the positive feelings it creates within us and, when we express it outwardly, to others.

Physical Benefits

Dr. Robert A. Emmons, a leading scientific expert on gratitude, conducted a series of studies (along with his colleagues) on the benefits of gratitude. In these studies, more than 1,000 participants aged 8 to 80 practiced gratitude, typically by writing in gratitude journals. The results were astonishing. 

To varying degrees, their physical health improved, including lower blood pressure and stronger immune systems, and they adopted healthier habits, such as eating healthy foods and exercising regularly.

Dr. Emmons also discovered that the participants became more compassionate and generous. They felt less isolated and exhibited higher levels of positive emotions. It amazes me that the research participants could experience such benefits simply by writing a few words each day.

Mental Benefits

Gratitude builds appreciation for positive moments, people, and experiences in our lives. We can express gratitude for the simple things in life, such as receiving a delicious cup of coffee or a friend dropping off a bowl of soup when we are ill.

It can also stem from major experiences like one’s continued good health, landing a dream job, or being able to serve others in one’s community.

Gratitude prompts us to focus on someone or something outside ourselves. It reminds us we need one another, and those connections (with all facets of life) can be rewarding. We often move through our life with others, whether those others are people, plants, or elements like air and water. Acknowledging our interdependence cultivates awareness, understanding, humility, and grace.

Emotional Benefits

Even events that we deem negative can invoke gratitude. During the pandemic, I was dealt a personal blow when a dear friend’s father died. At the time, meeting face-to-face was out of the question. Amid a sudden spike in COVID-19 cases in our state, the governor issued a stay-at-home order to quell the surge.

Helpless and unable to assist my friend, my heart broke as I listened to her and the pain she was experiencing. Hearing this news, along with other world events, left an emptiness I couldn’t shake.

My mother was miles away in another state. I spoke to her nearly every day, trying to find answers and searching for a glimmer of light at the end of a long, dark tunnel everyone was experiencing during the pandemic.

But the light did emerge, and on the other side of that tunnel emerged a new, resurrected me. With that light of hope, I spoke with my friend whose father had passed and listened; when asked, I offered support, encouragement, and hope. In those moments, our friendship grew stronger as we both shared ourselves and our vulnerability; as a result, our relationship deepened.

I was also grateful for my mother. My mom supported me, which in turn helped me support my friend. It was a ripple effect —a lifeline of hope to hold on to. Through my own resolve and faith, I knew the light would once again appear.

But there was something else that happened—a turn of events I did not expect that created a profoundly rich and more joyful life on the other side. Where once there was darkness, now full illumination reigned supreme. I realized that, even with its sorrow and despair, life is also glorious and radiant. Each day is precious, and I wanted to embrace it—every moment fully.

Experiences like the ones I mentioned above, along with gratitude for the people who aid us along the way, create value in those relationships.

It opened me up and became a bridge to more heartfelt connections with the people in my life. The experience led to a deeper understanding and a greater capacity for love.

When we identify what is valuable to us, we see how it leads to greater fulfillment within, and we’re keen to create more of it. So how can we cultivate gratitude in our everyday lives?

Ways to Cultivate Gratitude

Cultivating gratitude can take on many forms, but the key is consistency. The practice of gratitude may be purely internal, like keeping a gratitude journal, or it may be an expression of gratitude to someone else. They’re both powerful—incorporate what feels right for you.

Gratitude Journals

A gratitude journal helps you identify what is valuable to you. This doesn’t have to be a long list; you can mention five things you are grateful for each day.

It could be family, a connection, or an attribute you gained after a challenging period. Specificity is key: record what you are grateful for regularly and why.

Handwritten Notes

When it seems that we are rushing through each day and are inundated with emails, it’s refreshing to receive a handwritten note in the mail.

There’s a level of intimacy in a personal note that emails cannot match. It’s written in the person’s handwriting, and the message is uniquely theirs. They took the time to write a note, buy a stamp, address an envelope, and mail it.

There’s also the permanence of handwritten notes. After my father’s passing, I discovered numerous letters I had sent him over the years in his desk drawer. In those notes, I expressed gratitude for the education I received and the important life lessons he taught me.

Discovering the letters I wrote to my father years ago moved me and brought our special bond into focus. My love and gratitude overflowed—for having him as my father and for the moments we shared.

Handwritten notes can serve as keepsakes. My mother saved letters my grandfather wrote to my grandmother (and vice versa) while he was in the Navy.

He wrote her poems, songs (my grandmother studied opera at Northwestern and was an aspiring opera singer), and love letters.

Now these letters are precious mementos of our family, reminding us of our grandparents and their union. Their letters are our shared history, and I’m grateful to both of my grandparents for their kindness, generosity, and enduring love.

My grandparents celebrating an anniversary. They loved dancing together.

Reaching Out

Like handwritten notes, calling someone to share how much they mean to you reaps many benefits, including creating a stronger bond—one that’s filled with vulnerability and appreciation.

This doesn’t have to be complicated; a simple “Thanks so much for your support at the meeting last week” expresses your gratitude in a specific way and will warm the recipient’s heart.

With Gratitude

As we draw closer to the holiday season, I hope you’re encouraged to find ways to develop and express gratitude. By being grateful, we form stronger bonds, appreciate the experiences that have shaped us, and even make ourselves and others healthier and happier. It’s a simple, undemanding practice that can yield many benefits.

May this holiday season bring joy, gratitude, and contentment to your lives.